This league-wide announcement came to my inbox at the end of April, from the director's board of our children's city sports league office:

(Our League) has experienced an unusual amount of poor sportsmanship and behavior by parents and coaches so far this season. We would like to remind everyone that these games are for the kids, and that adults are setting an example with their behavior. If parents (or anyone at the fields) yell at, belittle, or in some other way show strong disrespect for umpires, those adults will be ejected from the fields, and will be suspended from at least one more game. Coaches are responsible for the behavior of their players and parents, so the head coach of that team is subject to a suspension as well. Any coach (head or assistant) ejected from a game, will automatically be suspended from the next game their team plays.

Please step back and consider your behavior. We are role models for the
kids around us, whether we want to be or not. If you believe an umpire is
doing a very poor job, please keep quiet at the field, and contact the age
group director or one of the board members after the game. We will
investigate and take action if warranted.

How sad it is when adults have to be reprimanded like children because their poor conduct has warranted it.

Here's a brief, incomplete list of bad things about youth sports:

Last night, Cotter's spring baseball season came to an end with a first-round loss in the championship tournament. The game wasn't all that close, but it was highlighted by Cotter completing an unassisted double play...intentionally. We also had several good hits and a pretty strong all-around effort.

Unfortunately, the game was tainted by an ugly confrontation between a coach and a parent. While I did not see the 'flash point' of the incident, everybody saw the yelling, screaming, and storming off that all took place in front of and amidst the boys.

Parents bear the responsibility of showing respect for the coaches, even when they disagree with the coaches...strongly. When they openly defy the coaches, they teach that disrespect and defiance to their children. I say that as a parent and as a volunteer coach.

I "get" that every parent wants their child's coach to have the talent of Joe Torre in managing their squad, the people skills of Barack Obama (or some equivalent Republican counterpart, if you must), a motivator like Tony Robbins, and do it all for the salary given to Mother Teresa. And most of these coaches are screeching in to the practices from a long day at work, missing meals, realizing how many mistakes they're making each week, and constantly wondering if they should have ever signed up to take on this thankless task.

Parents need to be graceful with their coach, even when the coach is unappreciative of your child's obvious talent, neglectful of his or her emerging talent, and unresponsive to your child's attention, respect, and improvement. Even if you've given the coach the benefit of the doubt, but consistently see your child's coach play favorites and not reward your child's good attitude and supportive behavior...stick it out. Even if you see your child's coach cave in to other demanding parents, or crater to petulant brats...don't mimic it or allow your child to do the same.

Be a good sport.

I understand that we get poor coaches from time to time, but even a poor coach offers your child important life lessons.

Life is not fair. Bosses, like coaches, will play favorites. Teachers, like some coaches, will praise and criticize disproportionately. The positive and negative lessons learned on the fields and courts of childhood will bear fruit in the classrooms, boardrooms, and negotiation fields of adulthood.

The nectar of that fruit is either better or bitter, depending upon the vine on which it grew through the years.

Parents...teach your children to respect their authorities by respecting the authority that is given to your coach. If you have a disagreement, have the disagreement in private. The only allowable exception to this is if the coach is putting the safety of a child at risk. If your coach is playing favorites, use the opportunity to teach your child to work hard, persevere, and show respect. I don't think there's a problem with acknowledging to your child when offenses take place, but use them for the teachable moments they are to instill in your child that hard work and a best effort are their own reward. And as much as anything, conduct yourself in a manner that will lead your child to be proud of your conduct as a supportive, encouraging, cheering fan instead of an unsupporting, discouraging, jeering critic.

If you aren't happy with your situation...wait it out and try a different team next time around. If you just have to make a comment...do it in private, and in humility. And if you want to respect the thankless task your kids' coaches undertake, volunteer even one season and prepare yourself for the experience from the other perspective. Now, as one of my coaches once told me, when I complained that the other team was getting away with a repeated cheap shot...

Just shut up and play ball!

I love this...for so many reasons...from my inbox:

One day a guy named Bryan housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to Kelli his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "DENVER BRONCOS."

All I have to say about this is...Go Broncos!

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May 12, 2008

Honored
[Life of Bryan]

I've been named a 2008 inductee of my hometown community's "Look At Me Now" program. The program recognizes Moffat County High School graduates who have gone on to enjoy success in any one of its many expressions.

Here's the newspaper write-up featuring me and another minister who was named to the list. I'm pleased that my home town has agreed that a decision to follow Christ and serve others can be considered a success.

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33/365 Jamie
[40x365]

Jamie is an awesome friend I have known since fourth grade. She was one of the goodest "good girls." Today, she is a godly wife, mom of three, a fitness instructor, choreographer, and entrepreneur. Her husband's name is Jamey, too.

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May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day 2008, Kelli!
[My Bride]

DSC02294
Originally uploaded by bmcanally

Often, a mom's legacy is established in the testimony of her children. We still have many years ahead and much work still to complete, but our children bear witness to the faithful, faith-filled, loving investment of their mother.

Kelli...you have prayed for them daily from our first awareness of each of them. You have taught them truth, respect, kindness, modesty, forgiveness, and humility.

You have shown them how to have a love for life and a compassion for others.

You have instilled in them to pursue excellence, to do their best, and to make sure to laugh often along the way.

Our children are a reflection of your grace, your tenderness, as well as your toughness.

You are an incredible bride, and you are an amazing mother. We are all blessed beyond words to get to belong to you even as you belong to us. We appreciate you, we cherish you, and we thank God for you.

We love you!

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Mothers Day Card Inner
[Life of Bryan]

Mothers Day Card Inner
Originally uploaded by bmcanally

Let's take a look at the guts of this gem...

At first, I thought the card's photo was cleverly scalloped, not remembering that we had such fancy cutting scissors "back in the day."

Then I opened it up and saw that, no, I'm just standing in front of a bulletin board.

You may not know this, but this is actually a rare find...I haven't published a lot of poetry over the years. Skeptics may say it is because of a possible lack of talent. I like to instead think of it as a matter of controlling the volume of content released to the public. I've never wanted to be considered a poet more than a writer.

I think I've managed to avoid that, and even with releasing this to the public, I doubt I'm in any danger of being compared to the Bard.

So here's the poem...

M is for Molasses, wich you are as sweet.
O is for Other, no one other is kinder.
T is for terrific, wich explains you well.
H is for happy, wich you have made me.
E is for everlasting, wich I hope you are.
R is for rightfulness, wich you always help me be.

Okay, so I obviously didn't realize there was an earlier h in "which." I probably was so concerned that I didn't spell it "witch" and really pass along the wrong notion that I never even considered the first h a possibility. Or maybe I thought it had something to do with "sandwich," which even makes sense to me today. Sometimes, there's a lot of comedy to be found in a missing letter. I'm not saying that my card is one of these times. However, Cotter will be giving his mom a poem today that I'll have to share later because there's comic gold in how what he's trying to say ends ups saying something completely different, all because boys don't slow down enough to make sure a word is spelled correctly. I was so touched to see that Cotter comes by it genetically.

Today, I'd give this card back to myself and make the 10-year-old me re-write it.



I'm not sure if I've ever had molasses. Is it really sweet? If not, that's really not that flattering of a compliment.



Parallel structure falls apart at 'O' and then returns for the rest of the poem.



Let's not even talk about that last line...it's a smidge above nonsensical babble. I'm saying that my mom helps me to be rightfulness. Maybe if I'm lucky, she stopped reading at H or E. Although reading this does help explain my sudden, end-of-the-year enrollment in a second English class for "gifted learners."



So apart from the apology that I owe Mrs. Garret, my 4th grade teacher (I really was paying, attention, despite this evidence), here's the reality of things, a little more than a quarter-century later...

M is for Mom...I miss you and I love you.

O is for Others - You often put others before yourself. Thank you for how that blessed me.

T is for Teriffic - I was right about that. It explains you well.

H is for Happy...thank you for a very happy childhood.

E is for Everlasting...I will see you again in the everlasting, thanks to our common faith in Christ.

R is for Reunion...What a great joy it will be.

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Mothers Day Card 1982
[Life of Bryan]

Mothers Day Card outer
Originally uploaded by bmcanally

Here's a scan of a Mother's Day card I made for my mom in 1982, when I was ten years old.

I like that I was trying to be creative with the staggered lettering...I'm not too pleased with the results, in retrospect.

If you read diagonally, you get a cryptic Mother's Day message of

Ham d
ppota
Y Hey
Rs

It could be a menu request, which always special to a mom.

The flowers are a nice touch. What's sad is that I can draw no better than this, twenty six years later.

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32/365 Stacy
[40x365]

In 8th grade, she moved to Craig from Rifle. We became friends the day she walked in to Mr. Ghiardelli's English class. Stacy worked in a bank as a receptionist after high school. Today she is president of that bank.

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May 10, 2008

31/365 Rebecca
[40x365]

Becca was a 7th/8th-grade sweetheart. She was obsessed with Madonna and for some reason, I found that impressively intriguing. I once stole lace gloves from a mannequin and gave them to her as a gift. She moved away. I recovered.

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May 9, 2008

30/365 Mary Beth
[40x365]

We dated for four years, and I was not a very good boyfriend to her. We went through the growing pains and identity crises common to young adulthood, and learned that we were much better apart than we were together.

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May 8, 2008

On Carrying Burdens
[Well Said]

Lena Horne

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.

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29/365 Justin
[40x365]

He is a 21st-century Renaissance man who arranges music, plays it, repairs a room's acoustics, designs a web page and fixes the network. I appreciate his straight-talk approach and his humble manner of following God. Rock me Amadeus, indeed amigo.

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May 7, 2008

28/265 Jennifer
[40x365]

Jen the birthday girl is amazingly talented and incredibly hard working. She produces our worship, coordinates our communications, designs our media, and does it with Christ-like integrity, consistency, style, humility and Grace. Literally. Also, she digs Lost and The Office.

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